All Lies
by Kuirdot
Summary: DONE MidSeason 8 right before this is not happening. Mulder is gone and Scully is trying to deal with the loss. Her dreams become more and more vivid until the line between truth and lies blur and the dreams feel more real than reality. Season 8 Spoilers
1. All Lies

I Dont Own them. PG 13 for now. May be R later 

_"Guess who?" that voice she would know anywhere even if all her other senses had failed her, as her sight did now that hands covered her eyes. "Mulder, where have you been? You left an hour ago to go get a cup of coffee." She tried to sound annoyed but had the sinking sensation that that she sounded more amused. _

_"Scully, we could disappear and no one would ever notice, that's why they stuck us down here. They want us to disappear. So what if I take an hour or two off. You should try it sometime." Scully continued her charade of indifference by continuing to type on her laptop and try to ignore her partner. Mulder had plopped down in his desk chair and propped his feat up on the desk its self. She knew this pattern of noises by heart, soon would come the cracking of sunflower seeds…_

A loud thud awoke Agent Scully out of her dream state. Disoriented she looked up to find not Mulder, but Agent Doggett, standing in the doorway of the subterranean office of the x-files. Suddenly reality came back with a crash and Scully groaned. Mulder was gone. And the dream began to fade.

"Good evening Agent Scully. I'm sorry I woke you. I'll leave so you can go back to sleep, it's not like anyone would notice if we disappeared, why not take an hour or two off?" This statement hit a nerve in Scully, something to do with the half remembered dream she had just awaken from.

"No Agent Doggett, don't be silly, I have to get this report filed, I was just taking a short cat nap. Please come in." Doggett looked quickly around the office feeling that he was entering enemy territory as he always did when coming down here. It wasn't far from the truth he reflected as he took a seat remembering the glass of water that had hit him when he first met this red head woman who was for the time being his partner. The X-files office wasn't his environment, it was Scully's, and of course the absent Mulder's.

Scully typed in silence for a few moments, doing nothing to assuage his feeling of awkwardness. She didn't realize that the silence was making him uncomfortable. While her fingers moved adeptly over the keyboard her mind wandered, desperately trying to capture the evanescent wisps of the dream she had been having. It was a happy dream, she knew that. That could only mean one thing, Mulder.

Recently she had been having dreams of Mulder. When she could remember them they seemed to be fragments of previous events her mind pieced together. However many of those events never actually happened. As a medical doctor she knew that the subconscious created images it wanted to see in dreams, found old memories and dragged them back to the surface of the mind. Not that any one of these things couldn't have happened for they were all mundane, they just…never had happened.

"So…Agent Scully." Doggett said after the tension got to be too much for him but unable to find a coherent thought. She looked up from her typing startled, as if she had forgotten he was in the room. She had.

When he didn't continue she looked puzzled. "Is there something on your mind Agent Doggett?" she asked at last. He replied with a negative and the shake of a head. He looked up to see the clock read eight o'clock on a Friday night, time for him to check out. "I guess I'll be headed home. See you on Monday morning, Agent Scully." Doggett said hurriedly as he grabbed his jacket from a nearby file cabinet and made a hasty retreat.

"Good night Agent Doggett!" Scully called after his retreating back. A moment later the sound of the elevator's chime signaled his true departure. She sighed. Poor Agent Doggett, he really was trying to help her, she just never seemed to be able to do right by him. With Mulder there had never been the need to constantly talk, after so many years of working closely they could practically read each other's mind. Something Mulder had actually suggested a time or two.

Thinking of all of Mulder's crazy idea's made her smile just a little. God she missed him. Unconsciously her hand raised to touch the little golden cross she wore always at her neck. She would do anything to get him back, just as she knew he would do for her. Realizing that no more work was going to get done tonight when she was sitting here mourning the memory of Mulder, Scully shut down her computer and headed out of the office. The drive home was a blur, as was the microwave-dinner she cooked for herself.

"This is what my life has come to. It's a Friday night and what do I do? Sleep." She talked to herself as she prepared for bed. "I need to get a cat. Then at least I won't feel as stupid as I do now talking to the air." The moment her head touched the pillow she was out.

_Crunch. Crack. Crunch. Sunflower seeds cracked between strong teeth_

_"Mulder, why are we here?" Scully asked him as she followed him into the office. _

_"What, the enjoyment of my company isn't enough of a reason?" he had that grin on his face that he always did when he was flirting with her. _

_"Mulder, it's Friday night. I could think of so many better things to be doing right now." She complained. She knew that she would have to spend at least some time on whatever stupid theory he had cooked up. To be completely honest she didn't really have anything better to do with her time. Spending time with Mulder seemed like as good of a day as any. "Really, why are we here?"_

_She flipped on the light and took a seat on the edge of the desk. The stupid poster was rolling up the wall again. It seemed that no matter how many time tacks were stuck in it they were ineffective. Suddenly the lights were flipped off again. Started she looked up and saw the silhouette of Mulder against the open door. The door closed plunging the room into pitch darkness. _

_It was amazing that he didn't fall, the office was that cluttered. She tried to keep it under control but the clutter seemed to multiply faster than she could clean. "Scully, I cant see! I'm afraid of the dark!" he cried in mock terror. She reached out and groped in the general direction of his voice. _

_She caught his outstretched hand and pulled gently. Mulder in his usual theatrics exaggerated the force of her pull and fell forward. He fell on her. One of his hands landed on her breast and stuck there. "Mulder! Mulder, isn't there some reason that we are actually here?" she asked while she reached up and removed his hand. "Because if not I think I'm going to go rent a movie or something." _

_He backed up and she could practically feel his eyes searching for her in the darkness. It was only then that she realized he was still holding her hand. She wasn't going to do anything about it if he wasn't. She was suddenly very glad that the darkness covered her blush. _

_"I wanted to tell you that I'll be alright. I don't want you to worry too much. There is nothing you can do for me right now. Just focus on running the x-files for me until I get back." He sounded sad, but she got the definite feeling that it was because of her, not of his own well-being. It just was too much and she started to cry. Mulder gathered her into his arms and held her. God how she missed that. Then of course Mulder ruined the moment by humming "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" _

_"Mulder." She groaned in protest of his singing ability but she smiled a tiny smile. Suddenly he stopped humming. His hand traveled up her arm, stopped to trace little patterns on random places. From her shoulder it moved to her jaw. He cradled her face and tilted it upwards, if it hadn't been pitch black in the office he would have been able to see the fear and excitement that intermingled in her eyes. Once more she was glad for the darkness because she didn't want him to stop. _

_His lips touched hers. It was barley more than whisper. He was asking for permission; she stood on tiptoe and pressed her self against him. Permission granted. The kiss deepened into an affirmation of passion that had been underlying their relationship for years. He broke off the kiss and wiped a tear from her eye. "Mulder. I.." this time it was a plea. She knew that he was leaving her then. He stepped out of her grasp and was lost in the darkness._


	2. The Truth

They are still not mine.. 

Scully awoke to birds singing outside her window. She must have forgotten to set her alarm. Saturday morning she almost always went for a run. Now she quickly got dressed in sweat pants and a tank. She clipped her cell phone on her waist and as always on her runs she left her gun at home.

Washington was beautiful in the spring. Made more so by the few people who were out at this time of morning. The congress was shut down for the weekend, the only people around were tourist. She jogged past a few people taking pictures with their fancy digital SLR cameras and smiled. The trees were starting to bloom, creating an aroma to the air. For people with allergies this time of year was torture, for Scully who had never suffered from this particular problem it was heaven. The national monument park loomed up in front of her and she decided to take a break on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

The water was calm today, the wind barley touching the surface in a lover's kiss. Suddenly Scully was not alone on the step. Her mood suddenly solemn as she turned to face the man who wore the trench coat that hid most of his profile from view.

"Agent Scully" the figure acknowledged her and told her everything she wanted to know. This had to be another member of the group who Mulder was constantly in and out of contact with. She replied curtly, "What do you want?" the man chuckled, a humorless sound she didn't like. "No Agent, it's not what I want. It's what you want." Long pause "You do want him don't you?" the tone mocking.

"Mulder" she breathed his name. "you know where Mulder is? Tell me, or I will hunt you down and murder you in your sleep." The threat was barley more than a whisper, but was all the more deadly for that. Again; that laugh. How she wished she hadn't left her firearm at home.

"You of all people should know Agent, that nothing is that simple. I was told to tell you that the information exists. I do not have it. This, however, is for you." He slipped an envelope into her hand and departed as quickly as he had come.

Scully ran her finger under the sealed lip of the envelope and was rewarded by a pop as the glue gave way. She pulled out a piece of paper and quickly unfolded it. There was nothing. Blank paper.

"Damn it. Damn it." Scully yelled at the sky. She had to remind herself to breathe. She had to get this processed by the labs at work. Could she trust anyone at the labs? She thought so, but hadn't she learned that no one could be trusted?

It was late. Saturday night, Dana Scully sat at her kitchen table contemplating the blank piece of paper that sat before her. And it was blank. She had taken the bullet and giving it to the lab had recovered nothing other than the fact that this was a clean white sheet of paper. There was no hidden message, there was no clue of any kind that she or the FBI could find.

Why would they give her a blank piece of paper? To torment her, they might be watching her from outside her window even now. Laughing that horrible laugh because she sat here crying over a blank sheet of paper. She got up and closed the blinds. Maybe watching a movie would make her feel better. She popped in her Top Gun DVD. Nothing better than young hunky tom cruise to help her feel better. As long as it got her job and her loss off her mind.

She looked up just in time to see the "FBI warning". This was insane. She couldn't even watch a movie without undue stress. Finally the movie started and she was able to relax.

_"Good Movie Scully. Maverick was always my hero. My favorite part is coming up soon." He sat down on the couch next to her and stole a handful of her raisinetts that were already melting in her hand , raptly intent on the movie playing on the tv. Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis were about to have passionate sex. "God Mulder, when did you hit puberty? 6?." She turned to look at him, always feeling slightly embarrassed at this point. She had always felt that making love was a private, personal thing. Mulder on the other hand had no such problem. His eyes remained fixed on the television._

_"Mulder, I want you to take a look at something for me." Scully got up and retrieved that blank piece of paper. "I was given this today, but it seems to be blank. I'm afraid I'm missing something extremely important." Mulder gulped the rest of his raisins and did his best to lick his fingers clean of the chocolate on them before he took the paper and turned it over a few times, ran his hands over it. "Ah, yes, of course!" a look of joy lit up his face. "you know what it means?" Scully asked hopefully. _

_"Of course Scully. It's one of the first things I learned in school. it's printer paper" Mulder replied and chuckled. "Don't worry Scully. They just like to feel powerful. They don't have the information they claim. Don't let them get to you, or else they win." He put the letter on the table near her couch and went back to watching the movie. She used his shoulder as a pillow as she had done so many times in the past but this was different. _

_This is only a dream, she told herself. Just a dream, nothing more, nothing less. Right? She wanted to kiss him again. But what would that mean? Nothing. It would mean nothing, she told herself but she wasn't so sure. These dreams were just too real. To heck with it. She had to know something. _

_"Mulder, why did you leave me?" the pain in her eyes broke his heart. _

_"I had to. I had to find the truth. Not only for me, but for us. For our child." He took his eyes away from the TV. "I never wanted to leave you Dana. Never. No matter how many times you shoot holes in my theories, no matter how many times I wanted to shoot you. I would never leave you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Special Agent Dana Scully." He wrapped his arm around her tiny shoulders. "Go to sleep Scully. I'll see you tomorrow." She fought it, but she was sleepy and the power of suggestion was great. Soon she was asleep resting against him. Mulder smiled and picked her up, she was incredibly light. He loved her so much, he hated being away from her like this, but as he told her he had no choice in the matter. _

_The walk to her bedroom was a short one. Once her covers were pulled back he tucked her in like a child. Lightly he brushed his lips across her forehead and gently stroked her cheek with a single finger. Soon he would return to her in reality, and not just in this sate of half consciousness, but this, he told himself was better than nothing._

_He hadn't figured out how this was possible. When he returned he fully expected to make an x-file of it. The only thing he could think of was that two people who had undergone so many trials and stresses together formed a special bond. Perhaps their un-announced but well known affection had something to do with it. He fervently hoped that he wasn't hallucinating this. He was sure that he couldn't be, it was too real. Scully was too real. _

_Mulder perched on her bedside. She looked so sweet when she slept. She was so relaxed and the splash of red hair spilled over her pillow. It was dark in her room, but Mulder could clearly see the slight smile on her lips. That, in turn, made him smile._


	3. Cruel Dreams

The day i own them is the day Scully leaves mulder and runs off with Skinner. aka never

"mmm…Mulder, what time is it?" she murmured as she rolled over to hide her eyes from the sunlight. There was no one there. She sat up with a start and shook herself. Of course there is no one here.

Standing barefoot on the cold hardwood floor woke her up a little bit more. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she headed for her pantry. After a bowl of whole grain cereal she noticed that something was wrong. It took her another moment to figure out what was awry, The blank piece of paper was gone. She looked under her table, on the chairs, anywhere it could have fallen. That single sheet of white paper was possibly her only clue to finding Mulder.

Again the feeling of the answer being on the tip of her tongue, something she felt she should remember. She closed her eyes and tried to listen to what her mind was telling her. The only thing she heard was the Top Gun theme playing in the background. She must have been so tired last night she forgot to turn off the TV. Searching around for the remote she finally found it, and it was resting on the blank sheet of paper.

She knew that she had left it on the table the night before. There was no way that it could have gotten over here. She picked it up and saw a partial fingerprint in melted chocolate. Even though it was only a partial she knew there could be no way it was hers, it was far too large even to be her thumb print.

Another half remembered dream tickled the back of her mind. Something about this piece of paper. Something about _them_ winning.

There could only be two explanations for the movement of the paper and the evidence of the fingerprint. Either she had a very quiet burglar who stopped to eat some chocolate covered raisins before taking nothing and leaving again, or something was going on that was worthy of being one of Mulder's famous "theories".

"It's Mulder's alright Dana, where did you find this?" Amber was a technician who Scully had befriended over her years at the x-files. It was to her that she had taken the letter, then brought it back again with the fingerprint partial to check it against Mulder's. Now she was happy that it was merely a sheet of white printer paper. This made it practically unrecognizable as the sheet of paper she had brought in yesterday.

"It was just in my apartment, I wanted to make sure it wasn't some important piece of evidence. Thanks for your time." She retrieved her paper and made a b-line to the basement. This means something. but what? What does this mean? "This means I'm going insane. That's what it means. Absolutely insane. Mulder would agree with me if he were here." She continued to talk to herself under her breath until she reached the office and swung the door open to find agent Doggett reclined in Mulder's chair reading an X-file.

When she opened the door he jerked in surprise and sat up in the chair. "Agent Scully. I wasn't expecting you in today. I figured it would be a good time to read up on old cases." He paused from his excuse and really looked at her. "Agent Scully, you look like you've seen a ghost." She looked uncertain as how to answer him. For a moment he thought that she was going to open up to him, to tell him what was going on, but then her wall of impassiveness came crashing down again and she looked like her normal self, albeit a little tired.

"It's nothing Agent Doggett, just a late night last night. Do you often come in on Sunday afternoons?" Agent Doggett noticed the change in topic but didn't call her on it. They were still getting to know one another and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize the growing respect between them.

"Lately I have been spending a lot of time reading old case files. I like to know what I'm dealing with. Why are you here today?" it seemed like a logical question when he had asked it, but as soon as it was out of his mouth Scully tensed up and he knew he had made another fatal mistake.

"I was…looking for some papers I left here, I still have that report to finish and couldn't find some of my field notes." It seemed like a logical response but the hesitation in her voice marked it as a lie.

Scully, now having to make good on her lie rooted around for one of her field notebooks. When she found one she quickly said good bye to agent Doggett and left as quickly as she had come. Scully didn't know what to do. She was so confused by the evidence of the fingerprint that her entire world seemed to be upside down.

"What would Mulder say in this situation?" she asked the air. Worse than that she answered herself. "The evidence points to something supernatural. Lets just say that Mulder was really here last night. What doest that mean? It means that I always see him in dreams. I have to fall asleep." That is how at 2:00 in the afternoon Agent Scully took a nap.

_Ring. Ring._

_"Scully" She said whipping her cell phone open. _

_"It's me. Where are you Scully?" Mulder's voice asked over the phone. _

_"It's Sunday afternoon Mulder, I'm at home." She sounded slightly annoyed_

_"Good. Open your door." A nock on the door and the click of Mulder hanging up his phone were instantaneous. His assumption made her smile. From anyone but Mulder, it would have been arrogance. He had his share of that, but never about her. Never about romance. Scully got up to answer the door and lo and behold there was Mulder holding a six-pack._

_"Hi, Scully. May I come in?" the phrasing was formal but with the quirk on his face he was as casual as she had ever seen him. She stepped away from the door and with an exaggerated motion waved him into the room. "Crack one of those open for me, I could use it." Referencing the chilled six pack while she straightened up he apartment. There was a crack and then a hiss from the general area of the kitchen. Mulder swaggered out of the kitchen with two beers in hand and plopped down on the sofa next to her. _

_After a few seconds of silence where they both sipped their beer. It was good and cold, fizzy and crisp. "Mulder, is this real?" She sat up straight and looked at him. She was expecting some wise crack about the "fresh and real new taste" of the beer, instead she got silence. Oddly, he averted his eyes. Mulder was normally really good at eye contact. After a moment of silence he replied.._

_"I don't know. I hope it is." He was studying his beer. An uneasy silence. "Scully… Dana…you have no idea how much I want this to be real. But I don't know how it can be. I have a theory…" for the first time he looked up at her and finally made eye contact. He looked like a school boy who had just put the whoopee cushion on the teacher's seat, as if he expected her to reprimand him at any moment. _

_"Well, are you going to tell me this Theory, or am I going to have to wait until the next time I take a nap?" Her query surprised him, having to always push his theories on her. _

_"I think that somewhere in the last eight years we found a connection. Something deeper than the regular FBI Partner connection. There have been x-files where dreams have been realities. I think we are just experiencing something like that." Unlike when Mulder normally explained one of his theories he remained calm, not getting animated or exciting his manner of speech. _

_"I was hoping you would say something like that." Scully said. It was so out of character for her that Mulder looked shocked, as if he had been smacked over the head with a two by four. Scully took another swig of her beer before continuing. "I couldn't deal with this being some elaborate dream I created in my own brain. I couldn't deal with this not being real. My dreams never work this way. They are random, unexplainable, and unremembered. They call up your deepest fears and desires. These are like actual life. These are neither fear or desire." She blushed and looked down at her beer. _Not yet anyway_. She said to herself. _

_Mulder set his own beer on the coaster on the coffee table, reached over and took hers and did the same to it. His eyes swept her body and rested on her face. Scully smiled a little smile for barley a second but Mulder's return smile lasted much longer. He reached over and caressed her face then traveled down her body to rest his hand on her waist. When he leaned in their eyes met and they both froze. If they continued they would break the barrier that had been solid for so many years. They had kissed before, but never more. Never. _

_She knew he was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of her, even when she didn't think she was being taken advantage of. So she made the choice for him. She leaned into him, placing one hand on each shoulder and kissing him squarely on the mouth. She pushed him back onto the couch, well, in reality he allowed himself to be pushed. She slid her hands up under his shirt, feeling his body smooth beneath her hands _

_For a few moments they explored each other, like high school students in the back seat of a car. Then Mulder stiffened and Scully backed off, afraid she had hut him in some way. More afraid he didnt want her. The look of uncertainty and fear in her eyes made Mulder's heart break. What he had to do next was nearly a fatal death blow to him. He smiled what he hoped was a happy smile but had a sinking suspicion it was a sad smile. "Not tonight…not now." Was all he said. He retrieved his beer and took another big swig carefully not looking at his partner. He couldn't stand to see her in this kind of pain. _

_Scully, at this point, decided she needed another beer. When she came back from the kitchen Mulder was gone. His beer glass was on the coaster sitting on her coffee table, but he was nowhere to be found. She didn't bother to check the rest of her apartment. He was gone for good. _

_Ring. Ring_

_She answered the phone but there was no one there._

Ring. Ring.

Scully was still on the couch. She was reaching for the phone and saw that it was only 3:00. she had slept for an hour. She groaned as she brought the phone to her ear. "Scully."

Agent Doggett's phone was on the other end. "Hi Agent Scully. Sorry to call you at home but you didn't pick up your cell phone. We just got some new information, I think you should get down here as soon as possible." He hung up the phone and the still groggy Agent Scully was left to sort out her brain and get dressed for work. Duty, the X-files, calls.

The next Chapter is actually the episode "This is not happening" so there may be some delay in writing it as i have to blend the episode and my view on it together. Thank you to the people who have read this and replied. it means alot to me. 


	4. This is not Happening

So...the other day I updated with the chapters I wrote forever and a half ago. then I read them after and decided they were crap. so I'm working on fixing that and preserving my reputation...here's the first.

Scully went down to the X-Files basement office, Doggett was standing near Mulder's desk, it was still Mulder's after all this time. She had never had a desk in the office. After 8 years she was still an outsider to the X files, still the scientist that was sent to debunk this office.

"Hi." Scully felt like she had just caught Doggett with his hand in the cookie jar. "Hi." He said somewhat guiltily. Since it seemed like he wasn't going to move on to the real subject of the day so… "You said that you had received something urgent." She waited impatiently in the doorway. "That's right, I did. And I think it's really important that you got right down here, Agent Scully. Thanks." He was being a little too formal for her comfort.

"You going to tell me what it is?" the look he gave her really made her nervous. "I…passed it on to Skinner. I'd rather he told you." Scully's heart almost stopped. This had to be something about Mulder, nothing else would rattle Doggett like this. A very uncomfortable elevator ride up to Skinner's office they found him conferring with his secretary. "What? What is it?" Scully was loosing her cool, and she thought she might scream if someone didn't tell her what was going on right now. "Let's go into my office." Skinner gestured towards the door and Scully walked through first. "Alright. What's going on here?" Scully was about at the end of her rope. After a moment that seemed like an eternity Skinner finally spoke. "A report came in last night from Montana. About a UFO encounter." She was suspicious of the minimalist style of his conversation.

Prompting. "What _kind_ of encounter?" Skinner could see that she was warry of the game but couldn't come out and just tell her what was wrong, instead he opted for simply telling her the answer to her question. "A young man chased a bright object flying low across the sky. Tracked it all the way to a big field where the UFO disappeared … but where he claimed he saw an alien." Doggett was made uncomfortable by the mention of the beliefs he did not have. For all that he worked on the X files he was as big of a skeptic as Scully had been eight years ago.

"Assistant Director, I've got drawers full of reports that begin just like that. Are you going to tell me what's so important about this case?" Her heart was in her throat and she wished Skinner would just come out and say it.

"Young man's named Richie Szalay. UFO nut from Bellefleur, Oregon. You and Agent Mulder met him out there last spring." At the mention of Mulder's name she flinched. She looked at Doggett to see if he would give her the answer she was looking for. He met her eyes but didn't start to say anything so she looked back at Skinner. "Are you saying this has something to do with Mulder?" her voice cracked but she couldn't help it.

For the first time since they left the basement office Agent Doggett spoke up. "He's trying to tell you that it might." He looked uncomfortable with what he was saying but Scully didn't ponder that long, Skinner was talking again.

"Richie Szalay didn't find an alien last night. He found a woman. A woman whose name you will remember-- Teresa Hoese." Scully did remember the name. "Teresa Hoese was the young mother who was abducted the night before Agent Mulder was." Her heart was beating faster and faster with every word. If Teresa Hoese was found she might be able to tell them where Mulder was.

" And who was returned last night." Skinner didn't seem enthusiastic as Scully thought he might be. She dreaded to ask but she had to. "Returned?" Skinner and Doggett looked at each other before Skinner proceeded. "Hanging onto life by a thread." A sense of urgency came upon Scully. She had to talk to Teresa Hose now.

"I have to go." She got up and headed towards the door. Skinner beat her there. "We have tickets for the next flight out Agent." She looked into his eyes and found some sense of composure. AD Skinner wanted to find Mulder almost as much as she did.

Scully zoned out on the plane, she let Skinner guide her to the car and only regained awareness when they reached the hospital. A young doctor met them near the door. "Who, who is Mr. Skinner?" the man seemed a little intimidated by three FBI agents. "I'm Skinner." The AD replied. "You Dr. Desai?" The doctor nodded and continued to address only Skinner. "I was just told you were on your way. That you flew out here all the way here from Washington, DC."

"Yeah, we're here to see Teresa Hoese." Skinner was impatient to see her. "I know. I just wish someone would tell me these things because this woman is in no condition..." Scully broke into the conversation for the first time. "what is her condition?" The doctor looked sad as he answered. "She's circling the drain. 12 years, I have never seen anything near this level of mistreatment."

"Doctor, it's important we see the victim and talk to her if we can about what happened." This from Doggett. The doctor started to lead them towards a room in the ER. "Just promise me, whoever did this, you guys will do everything in your power to catch them." All three nodded.

When they arrived at the room it was unlikely anything the doctor doctor could have said would have prepared them for what they saw. She was lying unconscious with bruised wounds, three on each cheek. She looked like death. Scully went to the bed to examine her more closely. She was only somewhat aware of what Skinner and the doctor were talking about until she heard something about X rays.

" In the x-rays, did you see, um... anything else? Foreign objects." She asked the doctor but wouldn't meet his eyes. It was a question that should have come from Mulder, not her. The doctor seemed puzzled. "I'm not sure what you mean." Scully still looking and the patient prompted him. "Little pieces of metal. Implants." This did not seem to help with his confusion. "No, I didn't"

A cop came in and gave agent Doggett a police report. "You're welcome to stay here and discuss foreign objects but... looks like we got a suspect."

The suspect turned out to be Richie Szalay. Richie gave them a description of what was happening, what he saw but Doggett refused to believe it. When Scully took him to task about it Doggett said something that almost broke Scully's heart. And left her cold. He said she didn't want to find Mulder, that she was afraid to.

That night she couldn't sleep in her hotel room. She sat on the bed for the longest time. Finally she laid down to sleep and like a tide it washed over her.

_"No. no Scully." It was Mulder but he was encased in a cloud. There was something wrong with him. She had to go to him. Every step she took towards him he shrunk back, as if he didn't want her to see him. "Scully. Please don't do this. Please don't do this to yourself. I cant control it anymore. Please go away. Dana. I'm begging you." His eyes were pleading and there were tears rolling down his face._

_She had never left him, through thick and thin, and wasn't about to start now. "Mulder, I don't care what you say, I'm coming to get you." She started to run, and slowly he appeared out of the mist. Mulder was in a chair like contraption. On each side of his face there were wires going into his cheek. His hands and feet had been pierced. He was covered in scars. Just like Teresa Hoese. Scully stopped n shock. And then she woke up_

She was shaken, she didn't know what to do or who to turn to. What if they were real? What if what she had just seen was what Mulder had been living through? She got out of bed and through on some clothes. It was a short walk down to AD Skinner's door. She knocked and a few seconds later he appeared. "What if he's dead?" she asked softly, nearly on the verge of tears. When he doesn't answer right away she feels the need to explain herself. "I'm sorry, I just had a bad dream."

"Let me get some clothes on." He says and shuts the door. Scully wandered out to the small loveseat swing in front of the motel. A few moments later he joined her and stood close next to her. "I once had a conversation with Mulder about starlight. How it's billions of years old" she said, not bothering with a preamble. They both looked up at the heavens and Scully fervently wished Mulder wasn't there already, looking down on them. " Stars that are now long dead whose light is still traveling through time. It won't die, that light" She was aware that AD Skinner was looking at her now, instead of the stars, but she kept her attention up. "Maybe that's the only thing that never does. He said that's where souls reside. I hope he's right." _Just let his come back to me now._

Skinner reached and put his arm around her, a strange thing for him to do, he had always tried to keep some semblance of distance between himself and the agents, but Mulder and Scully of all the agents under his authority had become like friends, like family to him. He cared about what happened to them. "If you're trying to prepare yourself I want you to stop. Nothing says that we're going to stumble over him in some field. Nothing says he won't be fine."

At first it seemed like what he said had worked. But then after a moment she couldn't hold it in anymore and she started to cry. He pulled her into his chest and let her sob her heart out in the protection of his arms. When she couldn't cry anymore Skinner took her back to her room and watched her until she fell into a deep sleep, then he picked himself up and took himself back to his room. He didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

_Knock Knock_

_"Who is it?" she shook herself awake. "It's me!" that familiar voice. "come in" she got up off the bed and ran to him as he opened the door. She wrapped him up in her arms and buried her face in his chest. "Well. If this is what happens when I go away, I'll have to do it more often." He said with a grin._

_"Mulder, don't even joke about that. You're okay." The bad feelings of the night were melting away. "In a sense. Most people think I'm kind of spooky." She smiled at his pun. "Look, I cant stay long, I just came to tell you that you are on the right track. Keep looking." Then he seemed to evaporate right out of her arms._

Ring Ring

It was Doggett on the other line. Telling her that in the night Teresa Hoese had been moved, and they couldn't find out where. Skinner and Scully drove to meet Doggett at the field where she had been found and they didn't find Doggett alone. He was with an old partner. One Monica Reyes. Scully and Reyes were like enemy wolves, circling each other, neither sure of when they would cross the line.

Reyes did when she suggested Mulder had joined a cult group. Another brief encounter with her later that day did nothing to prove to Scully that she liked this woman.

When they found the body of Gary Edward she knew in the pit of her stomach that they would not find Mulder alive. Later that night they did a bust on the place thought to be the center of where all these abduction patents were being taken. They found Teresa Hoese completely healed and fine. Scully was alone in the hallway when she glanced into a room. There was Mulder. "Agent Scully." This came not from Mulder but from Reyes. When she glanced back Mulder was gone. She ran to the window to find nothing but air. "What? What is it?" Reyes asking was pushed to the back of Scully's priorities. "I saw him" she said quietly, then turned to face Reyes, and brought her barrier back up "I saw something."

Scully was interrogating the only person that may be left and able to take her to her partner when Skinner popped into the room, his face grave. "You'd better come with us" She instantly forgot her anger and found it hard to breathe "What is it?" she asked, dreading the answer. "It's Mulder" They took her to a field, there was a mass of people around a body, one of those people was Doggett. He refused to let her see Mulder. When she broke away she fell next to the body of Mulder. She became hysterical. "No…No…This isn't happening!" she screamed and cried. But Mulder would never return to her. She looked up at the stars, the resting place of souls and screamed at them too. They took Mulder. She cried and screamed at everyone around her, at god, at the stars. 


	5. DeadAlive

Incase you didnt notice, the last two, (This is not happening and DeadAlive) are actual episodes of the x files. I dont own them, just taking them out for a test drive. I only borrowed the dialogue and the basic blocking. thank you to all of you who are reading this story and adding comments. it means alot to me, keeps me going.

Scully couldn't believe what she was doing. It was like she was a marionette and the strings were making her do things against her will. She was getting dressed all in black to go to Mulder's funeral. Skinner knocked on the door. Promptly when he told her he would. She opened her door and greeted him with a nod of the head. The drive over seemed to take an instant and an eternity all at one time. Time seemed to have stopped for Scully. She was glad that she had asked Skinner to drive her, she knew she would never have made it herself. The turnout was low, the lone gunmen, Skinner, herself, and her mother, along with a few others were all that turned out to watch this great man's last rights.

The service was beautiful, Scully managed to say a few words on her partner's behalf. She kept her wall up to the best of her ability. When everyone else left Scully threw a small handful of dirt into the grave. She hoped that wherever Mulder was right then that he knew how much she love him, how much she missed him.

She turned to Skinner. "He was the last. His father, and mother...his sister...all gone. I think the real tragedy...is that for all of his pain and searching...the truth that he worked so hard to find was never truly revealed to him. I can't truly believe that I'm really standing here." Skinner's eyes were filled with compassion. "I know. And I don't truly believe that...Mulder's the last." Scully started to tremble and once again Skinner took her into his arms to cry herself out.

After Skinner took her home Scully was too numb to do anything. She sat on her couch despondently, eventually drifting off to sleep.

_Mulder stood in the doorway, looking at her sleeping. He couldn't let it happen again, what had happened last time. She had seen what was really going on. This time he thought he could keep it from her. He hated to wake her, but the sorrow on her face was too much for him to take, he walked over and was about to touch her shoulder when her eyes snapped open. It took a moment to register who was standing before her, and when she did realize it, she screamed. _

_"No. Your dead. Your dead and it's all been a dream. Why won't my mind just let me rest? Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone to grieve you." The look of fear and despair in her eyes drove him a step backwards, then another. Mulder felt as if she had just stabbed a butcher knife through his heart, he wished she had, this would linger for longer. He was almost at the door when he got the courage to turn around and tell her what he had come for. _

_"Don't give up your hope, whatever you do." He let himself out of her apartment and sagged against a wall. He felt himself start to cry. She was all that he had left, and he had been rejected. He raised his hand to his face to wipe away the tears and saw the same piece of paper in his hand. He must have picked it up without noticing he had done so. He put it in his jacket and walked away down the hall. _

The next morning Scully showed up for work, bright and early. She came down to the X files office. "Agent Scully" she was startled by Doggett's voice behind her. "Agent Scully, haden't you better take a few days off?" she shook her head and sat down at the desk. "There is work to be done Agent Doggett."

The days blurred together. Scully made it through one week, then two, the time turned into months and although the hurt never faded, it was no longer the only thing on her mind. Her baby was growing and soon she would have a child to think about. Still the world seemed duller, more gray since the funeral. Mulder had taken her heart and a large portion of her soul with him when he died. Luckily for her piece of mind she didn't have the dreams anymore since the day of is funeral. In fact she stopped dreaming all together.

Not until nearly three months after the funeral did something break the monotony of her new daily life. Ring Ring. "Scully" AD Skinner was on the other line. It wasn't irregular, they had been talking more since the death. "Yes sir?" "Agent Scully, I think you should come down to the hospital, there's something you have to see." Scully's haze broke and she sat bolt upright. "Sir?" there was a long pause on the other end. "Agent Scully…It's Mulder. He's alive."

Scully moved as quickly as someone that pregnant could. She drove as quickly to the hospital as she could without getting pulled over and by time she was at the hospital she was breathing heavily and her heart was pounding. She saw Skinner and rushed towards him. "Is it true?" Skinner put his body in front of the door to the room. "Slow down." He said, trying to calm her.

"No. I want to see him!"

"I know you do…"

"No, I need to see him, damn it!" She was on the verge of tears

"You're not going in there." Skinner grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Scully, you can't." At that moment Scully was about to tear past Skinner, she was desperate to know, to see for herself if it was real. "Tell me it's true. Tell me." Just at that moment Doggett appeared out of the room. Scully walked towards him. "What did they say?" There was silence from Doggett. "I need to see him."

He wouldn't meet her eyes. "I know, but I wish you wouldn't"

Scully walked past him and into the hospital room. Miracles of miracles…She put her hand on his chest, to feel the rise and fall of his chest. Suddenly she couldn't stand anymore, she crumpled down on the bed and held him. She had given up on ever having this ever again. After three months color came back into her life. She began to cry.

She woke up later that morning to the sound of the door. She was holding Mulder's, warm and alive, hand. "You can't do this alone." For a moment she was terrified of her new partner, scared he would try and take her away from the old one she loved. "You asked me not to come in here, Agent Doggett. I hope you're not asking me to leave."

"Concern's for your well-being, Agent Scully. That's all it's ever for. I felt this was a bad idea from the start. I told the Assistant Director so. Worrying about the effect it might have on you." Now she was angry at him. Mulder was alive, in however bad of condition, alive is still alive. "You mean finding Mulder alive?" A hint of her anger came through in her voice.

"I know you came in here with the doctors. I'm sure you must have asked them what his chances are." Scully let go of Mulder's hand and stepped angrily towards Doggett. " Agent Doggett...However I felt about you when we first met, you changed my opinion with the quality of your character and of your work. Now, I am thankful to know you and I am thankful for your concern...But no matter what Mulder's chances are the choice not to open up that grave was wrong. And not because of me personally but as my partner on the X-Files. Now, the truth may hurt but it's all that matters." Although she sounded brave inside she was shaking. She didn't know what she would do if she lost him again. So soon after she found him.

"What truth?" Doggett was never quite sure what Scully was referencing when she used those words, but she used them a lot. "The truth of what caused this." She gestured towards the bed. Before Doggett could respond a nurse broke into the room saying to come quickly, something about Billy Miles.

Billy Miles was in almost the same condition as Mulder, but he was found wandering the halls of the hospital. He had no idea how he came to be there, but there was nothing physically wrong with him. Scully couldn't believe it. "It's too incredible. Sir, there isn't a piece of medical data on him that isn't one hundred percent normal." She was explaining to skinner later that afternoon.

"Why are you questioning that... when it could mean that the doctors are wrong about Mulder?"

"Because it doesn't make sense. I mean, there should be blood, fluid, electrolyte imbalances. Loss of brain function, but as it is, it's like he shed his skin and literally became a new person. And I don't mean the same person"

Skinner stopped and gave her a look she couldn't pinpoint. "What are the chances this could be due to an alien influence? Could it be a virus?" Skinner knew that such a thing was possible through the case files, but he sounded like he knew something else, more information.

"Why are you asking me this? Sir, if you know something... look, we-we're working against the clock here. This, this could happen to Mulder. And until we know what it is we have to do everything to control it." Scully's pulse heightened.

"There may be a vaccine."

"Where?"

"It doesn't come without a price."

"This is about saving a man's life." Scully would move heaven and earth to save Mulder. Skinner knew it and his reply was tinged with sadness.

"Yes it is."

Scully was on her way out of the hospital where she ran into Agent Doggett. She seemed to have less and less in common with the man as time went on. She told him what herself and the AD had thought of and for once he agreed with her, or at least said that the stories matched up. A few moments later Mulder was rushed to the OR, it appears he was taken off life support and his temperature dropped rapidly. By taking him off life support they could stabilize him and treat him with anti-viral. There was a chance he could make it.

Scully sat by his hospital bed all that night and most of the next day. She was exhausted but he seemed to be getting better and that gave her the strength and energy to stay awake. Slowly his color was coming back and Scully had hope. Scully was holding his hand, just as she had been doing since they moved him out of the OR. His fingers moved slightly and out of the corner of her eye she saw his head move. Her heart leapt. "Mulder?" for the first time in over three months Mulder opened his eyes. Scully didn't know exactly what emotion she was feeling just then, she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, or what to say. What _does_ one say to a man you love that's been dead for three months, suddenly returned to you?

"Hi" she finally managed. Mulder's face was still blank. When he opened his mouth to speak he had to remind his vocal cords how to work and when they did they were hoarse from lack of use. "Who are you?" Scully feels like she was just hit with a ton of bricks. He didn't know who she was. Oh god, this could possibly be worse than dead. He didn't…but then he smiled, life came back into his face. He was joking in that horrible serious way he does some times. Like in Dallas on the roof, like so many other times. She sobbed in relief and let the tears she had held back flow forth. "Oh my God, don't do that to me. Do you know...? Do you have any idea what you've been through?" she loved this man so much.

He studied her face for a moment and his expression softened. He still looked horrible, bu the fact that he woke up and could talk could only point to good. "Only what I see in your face." She laid her head down upon his shoulder and held him where he lay. He was still weak but not too weak to manage a joke. "Anyone miss me?" she laughed, he always knew how to make her laugh. Doggett opened the door to find Mulder awake and Scully half on the bed, half in her chair. There was nothing he could say, so he left. She was relieved he didn't intrude. Scully, finally at piece, closed her eyes and cuddled closer to Mulder. Mulder lay his own head down, they both slept.


	6. Take My Breath Away

Mulder spent two more days in the hospital. All the test showed that he was in perfect medical health. Even his scars started to heal themselves. So they sent him home. Scully drove him and his single bag back to his apartment. She hadn't had the heart to sell it yet.

"Must feel good to be home." He made a noncommittal noise as he looked around. Scully proceeded in to drop the duffle in the bedroom.

"Something looks different." Mulder commented, feeling like an outsider in his own home. Scully was more at home here than he was.

"It's clean." Scully had been coming over every day, to feed the fish and to slowly make her way through the clutter. She had been getting it ready for sale. She now felt guilty. The situation was awkward, as if Mulder knew why it was clean. "Ah, that's it." Mulder looked at his fish tank while Scully played with her key ring. She didn't want it to be strange between them. when she had been sitting at his bedside she never thought it would be awkward.

"Missing a molly" She knew he was searching for conversation but it hurt her that all he could find to talk about was the damn fish. "She wasn't as lucky as you." Mulder sat on his desk and looked at her, surprised by the hostility in her voice.

"Mulder...I don't know if you'll ever understand what it was like. First learning of your abduction...and then searching for you and finding you dead. And now to have you back and, uh..." she couldn't force the words out. She stopped. He decided it was time to try humor " Well, you act like you're surprised." He laughed at his joke, but she didn't. He glanced away.

"I prayed a lot. And my prayers have been answered." She looked at him unflinchingly. He looked down at her stomach "in more ways than one.", now protruding quite a bit from her little frame. "yeah"

"I'm happy for you. I think I know... how much that means to you." Scully couldn't take it any more. There had never been this between them before, now…She had been on an emotional roller coaster for about the past week and was about to cry. "Mulder…"

He cut her off, whatever she was going to say never got out. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just... I have no idea where I fit in. Right now. I just, uh...I'm having a little trouble...processing...everything." he looked at her for a long moment then looked out his window.

Scully turned abruptly and he thought she was about to walk out of the apartment and out of his life. Instead she went into the bedroom and rooted through the duffle bag. She pulled out a sheet of paper. Slightly wrinkled and smudged but with a partial print clearly visible in chocolate. "This, Mulder, is where you fit in. I don't know how this got to the hospital, all I know is this. The day you were buried it was in my apartment. I had a dream and it was gone. It came out of the grave with you. Mulder, I don't know if you remember but for months you came to me every night. It was real Mulder. _It was real_." When Mulder didn't reply immediately it seemed to break down the last reserves Scully had and she slumped in place. She closed her eyes and focused on simply breathing.

She didn't hear him move until he wrapped his arms around her. Since he had woken up it was the first time he had _touched_ her, sure he had brushed her hand on the way to the car, but now he touched her. He pulled her close to his chest and in his arms she felt so good. protected and loved.

He led her over to the bed and they lay down together, holding each other as they had longed to do for such a long time. Each had matching tear stains upon their cheeks. Mulder started to hum the melody of "Take My Breath Away", the love theme from Top Gun. The same scene they watched together more than three months ago, sitting on Scully's couch, eating Raisinetts. For now there was no question that it was real. "I love you, Dana." Mulder whispered. There was no need for her to say it, just as there had been no need for him to say it. "I love you, Fox, more than you can know."

Alright fokes, there's the end. again. sorry about the re-write, but I think it's better this way, what do you all think? 


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